Back in the Saddle

His cold is over and he is back in the saddle again. More like back on his high horse again, but more about that after bit. He made it to his volunteering both days this past week. Beginning tomorrow he will ride the bus both ways, not just home. Is there an advantage to that? Two more hours of available time twice a week. We usually drive him over at 10, but the bus will pick him up at 8. We won't have to have two cars available on those days so that will also help. Is everybody happy, well, I should say not.

That high horse has been bucking a lot. I know that he generally can't remember tomorrow what is said today, but he is actually surprising about that sometimes. If it is bad he usually does remember it. Neutral or good information is easily lost. What category to place our converstations a few weeks ago into is perhaps difficult. He is arguing again about tuning pianos. Did he forget that it is over, not exactly, he simply says it never was just because he had not talked about it for a week or so. Did he forget that he can't have his own apartment alone in Chicago? Yes. Score one for forgetting the bad news. That may be a first. The downside, I had to tell him again and go through his anger all over again. A lot of anger.

Other bad news he forgot was that he couldn't go to the senior center anymore without a companion. The visiting nurse had told him that 2 weeks ago. He forgot. Since it was bad news and he likes to harbor bad news, I was surprised. Down side. Angry about that all over again as well. The upside had been in effect for 2 whole weeks. He thought that he was playing the piano at the one place on the same day that he used to play cards at the other. Therefore he was accepting the fact that he couldn't go play cards. For a flash in his mind he somehow remembered and BOOM. But after the blow up he has forgotten again. Upside for a while.

There is one ride I always avoid at the amusement park, the roller coaster. The anticipation of the drop bothers me more than the ride. That may be the hardest daily part of the care for Dad. There is always the anticipation of his next big blowup. The ride is getting faster, the drops (blowups) bigger. The anticipation of what he may decide to do to get his own way becomes more accute as he becomes unhappier with the realities of what is happening to his life. At some point he will progressively cease to care and the ride will come to a stop. But that is a ways away.