Both Sides Now

There is an old song "Both Sides Now" that came to mind as I was playing with my youngest grandson the other evening. He's just one, but he is learning things at an amazing clip. He knows where his toys are at our house, but, of course, that is a given. He has his favorite drawer in the kitchen to play in, but that is also a given. The other night his mother taught him a new little game and he caught on right away. Two times she showed him how to do something and he mastered it and played at it for quite a while. That is a young and healthy brain showing one side, an exciting side, of human development.

Then there is Dad. Every night after supper he helps my bride do the dishes. Every night. He dries and puts them away. Plates here, bowls there, cups in the other cupboard. He does have those three things down. But that is not all of the dishes. Measuring cups, serving bowls, storage items are a different story. They are used for every meal and dried after every meal. Each night he stands holding them uncertainly and my bride says, "It goes there, Dad." Each night. That is a mind effected by Alzheimer's. Unhealthy, sad, the decline of human development.

Both sides now. Young vibrant mind versus stagnant and declining mind. The contrast between the two minds, the let me explore mind versus the lead me so I know what to do mind. Each morning Dad asks, "What are we doing today?" He needs direction to function, routine to live by. Scooter (my grandson) is in a whirl to discover, to create new vistas. Scooter is the sunshine to Dad's descent. When I began this blog 15 months ago there was more sunshine to Dad's life. He still had some, but the sun has pretty much set and it is now rising in a new sector. After a long day or two with Dad's evening of life, Scooter is the joy of morning. Both Sides Now.

Just a note about Alzheimer's and the positive effect that living with us has had on Dad. His decline before moving here was precipitous. From the first noticeable appearances to his being declared incompetent was only 3 years. There are things that the medical community is finding can help delay the progress. He was on a drug for the three years before coming here. That is one way. We got that drug dosage doubled for him. That was a help. But there are other little things that keep appearing in the Alzheimer's support material. Juice for breakfast every morning instead of coffee. Very small but helpful. My bride handles his meds for him so he gets them on time and regularly. Very helpful. Daily living tasks taken off his shoulders and the frustrations of doing them also. Small and helpful. Then there is the majorly helpful. Evidence shows that living with loved ones can delay going to a nursing home for over a year. The positive socialization that comes from close friends and family is very important. Alzheimer's isolates its victims. Positive socialization helps keep the brain healthier. Nothing can cure the disease or prevent its eventual progression, but living with us has been good. Whereas a nursing home could do the meds, the daily living tasks, the juice for breakfast it can't do what a family can do. Kudos to my bride for her excellent work in giving him just a little longer sunshine in his final descent. Kudos to Scooter who runs to Dad and gives him as much unconditional attention as to anyone else for giving Dad just a little longer ray of sunshine in his descent. God made families and may we never underestimate just how important they really are.