Never Wrong Joe

Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between Alzheimer's and just plain old Joe. The admission of being wrong is something that I remember as being very rare in Dad from my childhood days. At least then he could be proven wrong with evidence, though never wrong with logic. Today he can simply never be wrong period. I suppose it has something to do with protecting his turf, the bit of mental capacity that he still identifies as his own. If he were to admit wrongness, then he would feel that he had no turf left. In general, agreement with the Alzheimer's patient is the easiest route to take. "It sure is cloudy" (on a sunny day) would be answered, "It sure is." If there is danger to the person by agreement, however, then it is not the best route to take. Avoidance or distraction are the first lines of defense. But when Dad is "protecting his turf" he can get exceedingly angry at avoidance and strongly resists distraction. That unfortunately can often lead to confrontation. It is a confrontation that he will always pursue with utmost vigor though he will always lose, not in the sense that he has been proven wrong, but in the sense that he doesn't achieve his goal.

There is no way to list all the issues on which he is right. That would take a catalog as big as a large volume and need to be updated daily. Lately he has been pushing the issue of his being well and not needing anyone to take care of his money. That is the recurring mantra every few weeks. He has given up arguing with me about it. He has learned that that topic will go nowhere with me. So, he has been trying a softer target. The past few weeks he has been on my bride's case about it almost daily. Since she can ignore someone about as effectively as anyone that I know, it hasn't really bothered her much. She just goes "mm, hmm," a few times and he drops the issue figuring that he has gained full assent. Actually she is just humming a tune and not listening to a word he says. This past week, however, he went into a full court press with her on the issue. No tune humming murmurs would do for him. His anger level has increased and an answer must be complete and agreement must be full. Unfortunately for him he discovered she is not such a soft target. She turned to him and with a stern look and very stern mother's voice laid out the law. His jaw dropped, his eyes popped and then he just shut up. Victory was hers. At least it has been for the rest of this week. Of course he is still right. He just needs someone new to convince about it.