It has been a busy week for Dad. Our life is in a whirl this month and that means that he has no shortage of things to do. Today was our open house for our daughter graduating from high school. It was a sort of melancholy day. She is the last of six. No more open houses for our own children. Next stop, grandchildren. The plus side, all we have to do is go, not prepare it all. We had quite a crowd stop by. Dad liked that. He had many people to talk with. Both my siblings were there to see him. He liked that. He was having one of his really clear days today, so it was a good time to see people and visit.
The other day he was quite confused. My bride went to the honors award program at the high school and came home with all our daughter's "hardware" (valedictorian medals, braids and tassels along with some certificates). He asked what they were and was told. Later he was going on about how wonderful she was to clean house, do dishes, cook and write all those letters and then get those nice awards for doing it. We all looked at him with one of those "What?" looks. He thought all the awards were my bride's awards for being the best wife and mother around. No, he wasn't joking. We said, "Those are Mary's awards." Yes," he said, "I know. Those are Mary's awards." Then he turned to my wife and said, "You are Mary, aren't you. My mother is Mary." We simply said, "No, our daughter Mary." "You have a daughter Mary?" he asked. "But you are Mary, too. My mother's name was Mary." No, bride's name is not Mary. That's alright, he would never understand. It was just good that he was so clear today.
The social worker came this week to look in on him. It is nice to have those support services. If nothing more, it is a chance for me to unwind with an understanding ear. She visited with him for about 45 minutes. Then she said to my wife, "He is confused today, isn't he?" Yes, he was. It was good to get all that confusion out of his system for today. He played the regular host of the party. Afterwards he played cards with my brother and went to bed happy, but not clean. He helped get things ready for today's open house by sweeping the sidewalks and the garage. He was so dirty. I told him to please get cleaned up before the guests arrived and to take a shower. He was adamant that he didn't need to be told to do such a simple thing. The truth is, he changed his clothes, but he didn't shower. When we were outside just before the reception I was standing next to him and I about gagged. So, he is not altogether clear, but he was clear enough to have a great time at the party. Way to go Dad.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Busy, Busy Joe
There are periods in Dad's life when things go fairly uneventful for some time. This past week has been a busy one for him. First we went to our son's graduation from college in Minnesota. That is a long drive, but Dad was happy, except for not getting to drive. That leads to another activity of the week. We had our regular visit to the doctor. Insurance companies and drug companies must be in cahoots with the AMA. Though he has been on the same drugs for years they routinely tell us that if we don't see the doctor and get a new prescription that they will no longer fill the ones he has. So I took him to the doctor. He jumped on the scale and moved the weights before the nurse could do so. It wouldn't register his weight so he let her finish. He proudly proclaimed that he weighed 23 pounds and we went to the examination room. It is good that he is deaf so that the doctor and I could take care of his prescription problem. Dad had no clue why we were there, though he had been told. After everything was done he asked the doctor to answer one question. "Can I drive?" "No" "Why not" "Because you would get lost" "I disagree" "I'm the doctor and that is my professional opinion" Wonderfully that was the end of that discussion. No argument with either the doctor or me later. WOW!!
Also this week Dad became the organist at the senior day care center. Yes, they have an organ. No, he can't play the organ, but that is no impediment to doing so. It is in the lunch room and they let him play it while dinner is being served. He is content. When they bring the meal to his place then he stops and eats. Problem solved!!! Yea for creative workers at the center.
This week I was working in my workroom on fixing an old fan. I was making little progress when Dad came in. I cringed inwardly, but told him what I was doing. He said, "Why don't you put a couple of washers under the motor mounts to lower the depth of the blade." No, he didn't really say that. But, that is what he meant to say if he could. So, I did, and voila, it was fixed. I never would have thought of that myself. Of course, in the middle of doing it he got bored with the slowness of the project and wanted to get a knife to cut the blade up to make it work better, but he didn't. I told everyone who came to the house that day how he had helped with the fan. Well, he had forgotten that he had done so but seemed to appreciate everyone's smiles anyway. Yes he did actually help. He held the motor mount still while I put in the washers. Go Dad!
Dad also got into a gardening mood this week. Our youngest daughter, who will be graduating from high school in two weeks at the position of number one in her class of 425 students, was home for the evening so she said she would watch Dad while my bride and I took our new dog for a walk. He was quietly sitting on the sidewalk when we left pulling grass from between the cracks in the sidewalk. I thought he was going outside to pick up paper in the yard, one of his favorite activities, but he was pulling grass. When we came home he had done a thorough job. He had also gone into my work room and gotten a slip blade knife. He had cut the grass out. Our daughter is really good at looking after him but quite powerless to stop him from doing what he did. I was rather upset because he had never before gone into my work room without me there and never before taken a tool. I have to watch that now. There is no door on my workroom and no wall to put a door in. All the power tools have a triple safety mechanism that prevents him from using them, but there are the smaller tools that I would prefer he leave alone. He did come out of everything unscathed, though, and was quite satisfied with himself for a job well done.
A note about me and sunshine. I am a grandpa again - third time. This time it is a girl. Congrats to our daughter and son-in-law on a job well done. It is their second. As we daily watch Dad's decline and sunset, it is nice to have a new little sunrise in our life.
Also this week Dad became the organist at the senior day care center. Yes, they have an organ. No, he can't play the organ, but that is no impediment to doing so. It is in the lunch room and they let him play it while dinner is being served. He is content. When they bring the meal to his place then he stops and eats. Problem solved!!! Yea for creative workers at the center.
This week I was working in my workroom on fixing an old fan. I was making little progress when Dad came in. I cringed inwardly, but told him what I was doing. He said, "Why don't you put a couple of washers under the motor mounts to lower the depth of the blade." No, he didn't really say that. But, that is what he meant to say if he could. So, I did, and voila, it was fixed. I never would have thought of that myself. Of course, in the middle of doing it he got bored with the slowness of the project and wanted to get a knife to cut the blade up to make it work better, but he didn't. I told everyone who came to the house that day how he had helped with the fan. Well, he had forgotten that he had done so but seemed to appreciate everyone's smiles anyway. Yes he did actually help. He held the motor mount still while I put in the washers. Go Dad!
Dad also got into a gardening mood this week. Our youngest daughter, who will be graduating from high school in two weeks at the position of number one in her class of 425 students, was home for the evening so she said she would watch Dad while my bride and I took our new dog for a walk. He was quietly sitting on the sidewalk when we left pulling grass from between the cracks in the sidewalk. I thought he was going outside to pick up paper in the yard, one of his favorite activities, but he was pulling grass. When we came home he had done a thorough job. He had also gone into my work room and gotten a slip blade knife. He had cut the grass out. Our daughter is really good at looking after him but quite powerless to stop him from doing what he did. I was rather upset because he had never before gone into my work room without me there and never before taken a tool. I have to watch that now. There is no door on my workroom and no wall to put a door in. All the power tools have a triple safety mechanism that prevents him from using them, but there are the smaller tools that I would prefer he leave alone. He did come out of everything unscathed, though, and was quite satisfied with himself for a job well done.
A note about me and sunshine. I am a grandpa again - third time. This time it is a girl. Congrats to our daughter and son-in-law on a job well done. It is their second. As we daily watch Dad's decline and sunset, it is nice to have a new little sunrise in our life.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Frustrated Joe
It has been an extra long time since my last blog. There was a problem with logging on, but I'm back.
Alzheimer's impairs ability, not desire. The list of things that Dad can't do is long. The list of things he is willing to admit that he can't do is non-existent. The list of things that he wants to do is long. He asked the junior Sunday school teacher two weeks ago if she needed any help teaching. That might sound innocent enough, but it isn't. There is nothing he starts that he doesn't want to control or dominate. Interpreted accurately, he asked her if she would like to sit while he teaches her class for her.
What is the downside to this? Well, he can't remember what he is saying if interrupted. Do junior SS kids interrupt? Yes. Would they do it on purpose once they caught on? Probably. Can he display a very nasty temper? Yes. Add to that that he cannot maintain dialog for long periods of time. It reduces to mumbling and lost words the further it goes. Ability, no; desire, yes.
Dad's plan B. Our church needs a choir. Who said? He said? Why did he say? He wants to be the new choir director? Problem. See above. Second problem, he wants to accompany the choir on the piano. It is his back door attempt to play the piano for church. Secondary problem, he can't play the piano well enough for anyone to sing with him. Will he take suggestions? No. Will he take criticism? No. Will he be content to lead the choir if the music is picked for him and the piano is played by someone else? No. (At least that way the choir could sing. They would have to ignore his direction, but hey, I've been a choir director and that happens more often than not.)
The piano at the adult care center has broken. True. I went over and checked it out myself. What does he want to do? Fix it. Can he? Probably. Next problem. He would want to retune it. Can he? No. I did tell the director that I believed he could fix the problem if given the chance. It is still broken. New problem. Now he wants to entertain them on the trumpet instead. Can he? NO!!! When he first came here a year and a half ago I encouraged him to play his trumpet. He tried. His lip is gone. He won't practice. He has a range of 4 notes comfortably. I hope he forgets this last goal quickly or I will have to hide his trumpet and mine, too.
Truly, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. That makes the sunset all the more sad.
Alzheimer's impairs ability, not desire. The list of things that Dad can't do is long. The list of things he is willing to admit that he can't do is non-existent. The list of things that he wants to do is long. He asked the junior Sunday school teacher two weeks ago if she needed any help teaching. That might sound innocent enough, but it isn't. There is nothing he starts that he doesn't want to control or dominate. Interpreted accurately, he asked her if she would like to sit while he teaches her class for her.
What is the downside to this? Well, he can't remember what he is saying if interrupted. Do junior SS kids interrupt? Yes. Would they do it on purpose once they caught on? Probably. Can he display a very nasty temper? Yes. Add to that that he cannot maintain dialog for long periods of time. It reduces to mumbling and lost words the further it goes. Ability, no; desire, yes.
Dad's plan B. Our church needs a choir. Who said? He said? Why did he say? He wants to be the new choir director? Problem. See above. Second problem, he wants to accompany the choir on the piano. It is his back door attempt to play the piano for church. Secondary problem, he can't play the piano well enough for anyone to sing with him. Will he take suggestions? No. Will he take criticism? No. Will he be content to lead the choir if the music is picked for him and the piano is played by someone else? No. (At least that way the choir could sing. They would have to ignore his direction, but hey, I've been a choir director and that happens more often than not.)
The piano at the adult care center has broken. True. I went over and checked it out myself. What does he want to do? Fix it. Can he? Probably. Next problem. He would want to retune it. Can he? No. I did tell the director that I believed he could fix the problem if given the chance. It is still broken. New problem. Now he wants to entertain them on the trumpet instead. Can he? NO!!! When he first came here a year and a half ago I encouraged him to play his trumpet. He tried. His lip is gone. He won't practice. He has a range of 4 notes comfortably. I hope he forgets this last goal quickly or I will have to hide his trumpet and mine, too.
Truly, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. That makes the sunset all the more sad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)