A Bit Overwhelmed

Tonight was a big night at our house. 5 of our 6 children were home. 1 with a spouse, 2 with fiancees, and 1 pair with a grandchild. My bride worked in the kitchen most of the day and our daughter worked in hers to make this a great meal for the gathered family. Almost everyone was happy. It was loud, raucous, a typical old fashioned meal at our house. One person was not so loud or raucous or happy. One person was not having a good time. DAD.

I knew it in advance that he wouldn't be happy, but I have come to the conclusion that he can't thereby spoil everyone else's happiness. He can't follow one conversation let alone 6 or 7 at a time. I always sit closest to him, and I saw that he tried to "hush" one of my boys several times. He tried but without success. There was no opportunity to for him to start one of his reminisces, no one would have heard if he did. I used to make the family sit quietly while he talked, but he never really had a point or could answer their questions or engage them when they tried to talk to him. I stopped that a couple of gatherings ago. Half the table never could hear what he said and the other half, since he mumbles a lot, could not understand what he had said. Then he would sit with a blank stare and everyone was uncertain how to respond. If they did he could not understand them and he would look genuinely disappointed. Now I have had to make the choice of which is the least insensitive. Not an easy decision.

After eating he went straight to his room. He didn't stay around like he usually does to try to talk to someone. Crowds understandably bother him, but my family is quite a crowd and I won't have them all avoid coming home because it bothers him. He would not like to stay in his room while they are here because he wants to be a part and doesn't remember how he wasn't a happy part the last time. These are the little issues that plague the caregiver. On the other hand there was someone else tonight that really enjoyed the crowd. My grandson. There is nothing like a crowd to wind up a toddler and get them in the show off mood. He went home a happy baby boy. Therein is the contrast in the sunshine and descent.