Keepin' On

I see from the most recent blog date that it has been a couple of weeks since I shared anything about Dad. There hasn't been a lot to say. The evidence of his decline is just pretty much there every day. That he can't grasp the details of a conversation most of the time is a common event. The other night my son, son-in-law and myself were discussing taking part in a triathlon. After we had talked about it for a few minutes Dad broke in and said, "When I was in the war in France I never had to walk." Yes, it was a random statement. There isn't much walking in triathlons. We all stopped and looked at him to see if he had something else to say, but he didn't say another word. Everyone went back to their conversations. He looked crestfallen so I assumed he had more to say. I stopped everyone and we all looked at Dad and he looked back and said nothing. We all went back to our conversations again. He looked more crestfallen. Finally he said, "If no one is going to listen to me then I am going to my room," and he did. That is pretty much the way that life goes. He has very little comprehension of what is going on. He can't take cues, like everyone looking at him and waiting for him to speak. It means nothing to him. Most of the time he dwells in a state of confusion. The upside is that he is still going to the adult care center daily without complaint. Thus is life with Dad.

Blessed Quietness

There is little to share about Joe this week. Thankfully, very little. He has gone each day to the center and hasn't complained even once.

He asked me a week ago why everyone said that he was sick since he isn't. I explained to him very patiently why he is and the evidence of it. He said that I was mistaken, but to have me prove it to him anyway. I gave him the three word test. I say three words to him slowly. He is supposed to be able to tell them back to me afterwards. I gave him the three words and asked him what they were. What words? was his answer. I said, the three words I just gave you. Oh, those. I wasn't paying any attention. What were they again? I gave them again and asked him to repeat them back to me. What words, he asked again. The ones I just gave you. Oh, well, I don't know what they were. I guess I am just really going to have to pay more attention. Give them to me again. I gave them one at a time and he repeated them to me one at time. Then I asked him what they were. What words? he said again. I told him that is why people know that he is sick. He said, "Oh, I guess so," and that was the end of that. The issue was forgotten, of course, by the time we had visited for a few more minutes so he still thinks he is OK. Why burst his bubble with reality if he doesn't ask? He can think anything he wants as long as he goes to the center each day and gives me a little sunshine in his descent.

Not so Cooperative Joe

Before I begin Joe's blog this week, let me say that I am the grandfather of 3 (soon to be 4) grandchildren. In the profile it says two, but that is old news. Unfortunately, I don't know how to edit the profile and nothing else in it has changed anyway.

This has been a difficult week with Dad. As I have pointed out before his mind seems to run in cycles. He used to have 4 major items that would cycle through seemingly once a week. One week to each item. Those items have all faded away from his mind, except his money, and that he doesn't pound on like he used to. Now he has a new item. He doesn't want to go to adult care. That is now beginning to become a cycle. First he will complain a little, then a lot, and then he will make the grand pronouncement that he is never going back. That is how last week went. He doesn't remember all the things we have discussed about this in the past, so each time it is a new major trauma for him and then for me.

This past week he made the announcement on Friday. After much talk on the subject he remained adamant. At supper he stated it again. On Saturday he brought it up again and was more adamant than on Friday. Sunday morning he reasserted his position. That is the longest he has held out and dug in his heals. I was rather convinced that I would have to spend all this week looking for a nursing home. But!!! At church I asked some friends to pray with me that this could be resolved by this morning. Last night Dad asked me to stop and visit with him in his room. He was still adamant that he wasn't going and that I was just wrong headed in thinking that he had to do so. Then God just began to move and by the end of our conversation he said that he would go back. This morning he was up and on the bus without comment. On my part, I was exhausted from the weekend of dealing with this crisis.

What is ahead? If the cycle runs true, he will be back to not going and adamantly refusing to do so about the end of October or the first of November. The last time this was an issue was the first of September. A month's reprieve from the big stuff so we can deal with the little stuff day to day. He is back for now, though, and that is my sunshine in his descent.