Getting Serious

Well, Dad weathered Thanksgiving fairly well. We had a houseful of people and he interacted a little an spent a lot of time in his room. All in all he seemed to have a good time even if he was overwhelmed by it all.

It is the other part of his social life that is heating up. His "girlfriend" is his number one daily topic. He brought her picture home a week or so ago and has it proudly displayed in his room. Our son and his wife were over for supper and he was telling them all about her. I suggested he go get his picture of her and show them. "What picture?" he asked. I would say, "so much for true love", but even though he can forget the picture prominently on his shelf, he can't seem to forget her. I have to use the word "her" because I have no real idea what her name is. Neither does he.

The other night at church he buttonholed everyone there and told them he was going to get married again. Everyone smiled kindly. None had the audacity to ask her name. He does get a bit testy when pressed for it. It is a fine question to hold in reserve for the times he gets particularly pointed about their upcoming nuptials. He asks what is keeping them from being able to be married. I assure him that when he knows her name it will go a long way to getting the issue resolved. He assures us that he will learn it tomorrow. We can go on like this for a long time. (He has lived with us for two years and doesn't know my bride's name yet. For 30 years of our married life together he knew her name before he got Alzheimer's, but not anymore. I think I am safe with the name thing, right?)

Yesterday, someone, a worker at the adult day care, told him that he couldn't marry her because he has Alzheimer's. As they say in the South, "Them's fightin' words." He came home utterly devastated and angry. He wouldn't even eat supper. It took me and my future son-in-law quite a while to talk him out of that funk. Since in his mind he has no disease or any physical or mental problems that accusation always sends him into an angry fit. That they could even think of saying it, let alone using it as an excuse to keep him from his true love, was just more than he could endure. I have studiously avoided ever telling him he "can't" marry this woman. The fight isn't worth it, but I ended up having to deal with someone else's utter carelessness in this regard.

If others will be careful in dealing with the situation, he will be happy. To enjoy true happiness in life is a great thing. In his descent he has had rare occasions of enjoying it, but this situation has given him some real long term pleasure. It is his sunshine in his descent.