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It has been a while, but not for lack of news. In May I received an advanced degree and took my bride on a nice trip to receive the degree at the ceremony. (If I pay for it and work for it, I'm showing up to get it.) My brother kindly took a week plus off of work to stay with Dad. That had not been the original plan, but we have to be flexible. He was supposed to stay in a respite care facility for 10 days while we were gone. Then it was upped to 14 days (not because we were gone that long, just because there was a minimal stay.) Then it was upped to 30 day minimum stay and that seemed like too much. After talking it over with my brother and agreeing that he would never be able to come home after such a long stay, my brother said he would stay with him for the 9 days we were gone. With that resolved we left on the most wonderful vacation we have had in years!

In the days leading up to the trip Dad would ask repeatedly if he could go along. We assured him he would have a better time here than with us. How very very true. We hiked 4 or more miles daily at planned hiking stops along the way. We drove with the windows down and sucked in the beautiful honeysuckle filled southern air. He hates to have the windows down. We could talk to each other and understand the conversation. That was rare. Oh, what a wonderful time alone!! And he did have a good time with his other son. They played cards and went places in the afternoon after adult day care. I am sure he was overjoyed each day to have us gone. But, before the trip when he was asking to go along he was always talking about how proud he was of my graduation. He told people at church. He would beam.

The day after we arrived home we had the pictures of our trip developed. Yes, we still live in the technological stone age. When we brought them home we showed them to Dad. He looked at the graduation pictures and asked, "when did you do that?" I told him, "just last week." "well, I never knew anything about it," he said with chagrin. When I was showing the pictures to some friends two days later, he was captivated by them. He had never seen them before.

That is what we noticed most of all. We have lived with him 24/7 for 2 and 1/2 years. We have grown used to his decline to the point that it often seems normal behavior. We have never had this kind of opportunity to step back and see what is going on. WOW!! His decline was so much more noticeable to us upon our return. I know that I often comment on his decline and how much we notice it. But the truth is that we hadn't noticed the half of it. Perhaps we had even been caught up in some aspects of denial about the real nature of his condition. I don't see a real relevant practical application to this new perspective, but it is eye opening to the degree that it has taken place. The upside, and there is one, is that he had a good time. He may not remember my brother having been here for 9 days, or he may. Choose the moment to ask and take your options from the above choices or others that Dad may create and you will have your answer. Whether he remembers or not, however, is not relevant. At the time my brother was here, Dad was having the time of his life - moment by moment. That is his sunshine in his decline.